i feel so worthless and broken

i want to spend more time with friends

i can't focus

myabe i should brave a coffee

it goes up, down, up, down

i keep getting panick attacks, hot flashes, otherr things

good thing; i have barly cup. thats always nice

bad thing; actualy, not a bad thing, sky's going camping and it will be good for her health. but, she'll be way

three good things; i have me temperery telly up and running, kinda, which should help, i ordered the compleate works of poe, and a nice copy, and i'll be able to catch up on my dreams finaly

i just need a decentish sleep patern. its never going to be perfect for now, but this is doing my nut

le'sigh, i'll be alright

Current Mood: anxious

really need some energy

going to have one heck of a weekend otherwise

Current Mood: tired

extreamly tired, quite anoyed and a little depressed

however

happy and hopefull

dunno. gotta go out. i guess we shall see

Current Mood: anxious

i'm getting junk mail already O.o



so yeah, in case you didn't hear, a monorail, well, two monorails crashed at disneyland

one person died, the driver, details are really sketchy

i wanted to know what youtube users thought about the whole ordeal, so i headed over, serched for "mono rail crash disneyland" and was confronted with i think two video rants about it, and many of these types of video

they claim to be either a more detailed report, an amature video of the actual crash and so on. they are not, they are a marketing scam, i hope O.o

and while i'm not usualy this sensetive about this kind of thing, i do find this slightly dark. so i thought i'd at least put my voice accross

here is a link to one such video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db7MpO...

most of them seem to go to a site like the one you will go to if you click the description. unfortaintly, i fell for this a bit and started to fill in endless questionairs. it would seem, if you look, that even if you filled it all in, and th evideo actualy excists, you probebly wouldn't get to watch it for free. and its probebly just a mirror of the damned news report anyways

and another;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jy3-el...

this will take you to a website that says simply "click the yellow "go" button to start watching the video". but look at what will happen if you do O.o

you'll download soem toolbar, which presumerbly is little more then spywear

i don't know if its worth getting all minstrail over, but i don't like it, and for the first time in my life i used teh flag button, on several videos, and rated them with one star. i havn't complained directly to youtube as i guess i should, but somehow i don't think it would do much..............

anyhoo, thats just how i feel, that and i was succered in the first time and now i have spam O.o

Current Mood: annoyed

i bought a new computer

i didn't really put as much thought into it as i should have done, but i thought that i had gotten £500 together, and asked the shop that built me thois computer, a whiel back, to build me another

as it turns out, i had only bought, i think a £350 system, possably as low as £200, which i was disapointed about, but i thought it must be at least a little more advanced then the one i have, given its age, right?

taking the computer out of its box, i noticed that this looked like no comupter i had seen before, from any era. it was kind of cardbored box shaped, or like an old lazer printer, the classic cream colour, and its most noticabel feature was probebly the cassette deck that was located on the top. there was a flap, which opened to another, black cassette deck

there was all kinds of door's and slidy things that mostly releilled thing slike usb ports, cd rom srives, sound card sockets and so forth. inside the box that contanied the computer was an invoice\recept thing, which tole me excatcly whta i had bought. the list seemed short, and i wanted to test the machine before reading it

i don't remember much else about it. me ank skylarlk lived in a castle though, and there was something about a henery hoover that was propped outside. i think thi spart of the dream had some second life logic, though we were actualy there

i'm not even really tired enough to sleep, just fustrated with doing all this downloading and computer stuff

i havn't been to bed yet anyhoo. as soon as i've doanloaded these small vids and start to burn a documentery\speach on dreams that i found, i'm off to the land of nod, or at least i'm going to lay on that soft thing that i seem to have in the other room

skyzy has been away camping, then when she got back her IP had gone up the spout. it is a crap IP, but living whewre she does she has little choice

hopefully though, i will get to see her tomorrow

in the mean time, spent far to much time downloadin the bible in mp3 format, reserching the book of revalation and genualy trying to deter myself from what i should be doing, quite effectively, for which i'm sure my name shall be blotted out from some book or another O.o

i don't know though. i shall either sleep or have a really good rest now. then i shall be back and i shall make a sensable documentation of soem description, be it here, on a forum, on an egroup or on youtube. i dunno, but i gotta get some sleep, so sweet dreams all, i guess

Current Mood: busy

my wife has "the headache that makes her horny" O.o

they sample this


but not this


so whats up with that O.o